The waves in my mind have been calm for the most part, gently rocking me as I relax on my back, enjoying the warm sun kissing my skin. I hear seagulls passing by and smell salt in the air.
I am all alone, but I am glad.
I try not to think about the storm that I know will eventually come my way, but today is not the day to worry about what is not now. These storms will always come back, the depression will kick in, and I will find myself kicking to keep my head afloat from the tall waves crashing down on me, but I will stand strong and face the storms. My loved ones are my boat, and the Lord is my life jacket because He alone can handle the harsh, relentless waves. He is not bothered by turbulence or storms. He is my stability.
I am not afraid.
So, today, I will be. I will silence the voice in my head whispering, “The storms will be back, you know,” and enjoy the here and now as I float in my sea of happiness.
I am the queen of black-and-white thinking, but I wasn’t always this way. I wasn’t always the worst case scenario expert, and I used to be a lot more optimistic than I am. Then I became a social worker. I am kidding but not completely kidding. Working with people did have a big impact, I […]
At the end of April in 2018, I literally woke up one day and decided I was going to start running. Even my husband was like, “Are you sure? Are you okay? Is something wrong with you?” If you have known me for a long time, you know I used to HATE running. I mean […]
Well, hello there! If you are here then I see you survived the food coma that is Thanksgiving dinner(s). I don’t know about you, but I ate like crap. Mashed potatoes, mac n cheese, butter rolls–any carb-filled, fattening thing you could have ate, I ate. I am trying to recover from the horrendous eating and […]
The older I get, the more complicated life seems to get. I think it can be even more difficult sometimes when you’re a die-hard black-or-white thinker. I will openly admit that my self-esteem has never been at elevated levels, and I don’t want to put myself down more than what life has already dished at […]
Based on my doctor’s visit from the other day (the one I was so worried about), I made my own rules about developing a healthy lifestyle so I could easily remember it throughout the day. I love alphabetical order! I am just starting this new journey, so this isn’t some tried and proven method, but […]
I am nervous about seeing a new doctor tomorrow for my chronic struggle with my weight and the odd symptoms I have been having for the past year. I don’t want to get burned by yet another doctor who doesn’t seem to think anything is wrong. Thankfully, my hair is growing back, but I am […]
Years ago, I swore up and down I would NEVER run. I thought runners were crazy, and I hated the monotony of it. My endurance was terrible. I was not a fast runner in the rare instances I had to run, and it was just downright uncomfortable for me. But in late April of 2018, […]
“What started out with good intentions soon became a major problem, and I found myself sliding faster and faster down this slippery slope called weight loss.” It is hard to believe that 2018 isn’t too far from being over. Wow, this year has just flown by! Many gardens are also coming to an end-of-harvest season. […]